Monday, October 8, 2007

Aussie Peso hits US$.90 - Retailers cheer, Producers reach for the Diazapam

As the Australian dollar continues to rise like so much Pavlova, a leading Sydney cocaine dealer has reported a surge in new business from retail store managers and a fall in demand from entertainment Executives and Producers.

The story is an old one - retail profit made on imports ordered while the dollar is high is not translated into savings at the cash register where prices remain static. Conversely, a higher Oz currency means that local Producers can get less high, less often as work heads to NZ or SE Asia.

Meanwhile, business is as good as ever for local Coke dealers as they welcome a new wave of customers; Managers with unexpected retail bonuses - or MURBs.

I was talking to Paco, my usual source, last night and he told me that "Things are looking great for the Christmas holidays this year" and that "...the Bob and Jane mortgagees of this fine brown land don't realise they're funding my next AFP payoff every time they buy a new Plasma to watch Border Security..." Pausing briefly, he said that my Producer "mates" had been calling him less frequently too.

It was something about the way that Paco made that last observation - almost as though it was an unexpected bonus - that made me ask him if he missed my "mates" and their business. Paco said "Look, don't get me wrong, a Producer's money is as good as anyone else's, it's just the constant HAGGLING - it gives me the screaming shits. I've never met such a cheap bunch of wankers... present company excepted."

1 comment:

Kylene said...

Well written article.